DAY 19

Today was another one of those days that did not exactly go according to plan and it demanded a bit of patience and flexibility of me.  As I went from point A to point B through my day, there were steps along the way, where breakdowns happened and I had to deal with it before anything else could happen. No side-stepping or ignoring was possible.  Like I'm looking for solid rocks to step on to avoid falling into the hot lava that surrounds them.  It was one of those days when the kids seem to tag-team with dramatic meltdowns that keep my husband and I in the mode of constantly putting out fires and talking them down off ledges and even turning on each other in our frustration.

But after all that, I feel like I'm ending the day on a good note, having a chance to reflect on the days events with a good wise friend and having a meditation tonight that was deliciously calm, and spacious and filled with light. It was the kind of meditation that doesn't happen often, but it's always what I'm hoping for. It's interesting that on such a tumultuous day, my thoughts would actually be more willing to fall away and allow me to find such long spells of inner peace. Maybe I earned it somehow today. Or maybe my ego just decided to take pity on me.

Letting Go: I'm really trying to let go of my need to be right. In my head, I keep hearing the quote, "Seek first to understand, rather than to be understood." There are a few areas in my life where I'm very set in the way that I see things. And when I hear an opposing opinion or statement, I am quick to dismiss it. To me, what I believe to be true seems obvious and logical and beyond reproach. But, deep down, I know that truth is more related to beauty. It is fluid and can appear in many different forms. I want to defend my truth with a softness that still allows other perspectives to cast a new color, lightness or shade to it. I want to be so confident in what I believe to be true that I can entertain the opposite perspective and find the common ground that unites them. The Ultimate Truth contains ALL truths. Those things that we perceive as false always have some essence of truth to them for someone. If we seek to understand that truth, we can find common ground and a place to grow within any relationship.

Gratitude: I am grateful for the ability to self-reflect. Whether it's with a therapist, friend, healer or my journal, being able to reflect on my life and what I observe in other lives is what makes me feel most human. It's become a life-line for me. Sometimes I wonder if it is our self-reflection of our daily experiences that communicates back to our spiritual selves what we came to physical form to discover. 

Shooting For: In my 40s, I will travel to some new countries and continents! I love travel. I've been privileged to get to visit Mexico, Jamaica, Canada, England, Scotland, France, the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Germany and the Czech Republic. But since having kids, I haven't crossed the Atlantic and I've never crossed the Pacific ocean. In addition to being such a fun adventure, I feel like my travels have helped me to grow in my perspective in so many wonderful ways. 

It's late. Thanks for reading. Goodnight. ~k