DAY, TOO

The Last Picture I took before we drove away... about 8:15am... facing in the direction we were headed.

Barely slept last night but wanted to do something physical before sitting in the car for 9 hours, so I got up and did 3 rounds of the 7 minute workout before we hit the road for home. I'm glad I did it, but I'm exhausted now, at the end of the day.

Watching my oldest this evening when we got home, picking fights and sulking, I remembered that feeling of coming home after a big trip like the one we just had, and knowing that I'd be going back to school in a day or two, and just feeling sad. That sadness became palpable the moment I thought of it today. 

But coming home is different for me now. Even though I'm staring at a seemingly impossible To Do List this week, I'm coming home to a life that I really love. It's a life that I have gotten to build over the years along with everyone who is a part of it. But I haven't always felt this way. 

As much as I want my children to have happy childhoods, I cannot give them happiness all the time. No one can. The best I can do as a parent is to help them learn that they can shape and color their lives in any way they can imagine. To say yes to the things that matter and no thank you to the things that don't. To take on the responsibility and challenge of continuing to tweak the details of their lives until they have a life that they enjoy living. And to understand that everything will change, many times over, from bad to great and back again. And that a beautiful and powerful life isn't one without fear or tragedy or struggle or pain, but one in which you time and again, prove yourself to be greater, stronger and braver than you ever thought you could be.

And today was his birthday. Lucky number seven.

I am filled with gratitude for my first child today. I am letting go of my need to write a longer blog post tonight. I am shooting for sheer perfection this week.  Ha! Just kidding. I'm shooting to get 3 big important things done each of the next 4 days, and anything additional is bonus and therefore cause for celebration. My "Bonus Day" is falling on a Monday. Very interesting.

goodnight. ~k